Honestly, the future does not concern me now. Vitoria's future isn't the most important thing right now. Her present is. And her present, despite its fragility. brings me much joy. It brings me life. Her present is so relevant, so important. It is strange. This child, who received so many death sentences, whose death was and still is expected by doctors, relatives, friends, this child only brings me life. I had never felt so alive and happy like I did during my pregnancy. So free. Despite the fact that I had some sad and uncertain moments.
Vitoria brought me strength to live, to fight, to be happy against all odds. My daughter taught me to see God like a real father, who takes care of me, and to whom I can cry for help and, then, rest. Vitoria taught me to trust. To really trust, without doubts. Without objections.
Going back to the initial question, why do we have children? Right now I do not know if I'll be able to experience certain moments with my daughter. Right now all I have is the present time. I cannot talk about her future and the expectations I have for her, like parents usually do. I do not feel frustrated or unhappy as a mother, though. The only thing I can think of is that I want to have my daughter to love her; to learn how to love; to get to know her and make her feel loved; very much loved.
I think we have children so that we can love.